Feedback’s Three Factors - Part 2 of 3 in Feedback

Personal Development: The Art of Giving and Receiving Feedback
Part 2 of 3 – Feedback's Three Factors

The previous post talked about avoiding the black hole of giving feedback based on references to attitude. So what's the right way to provide feedback so that it helps someone?

Giving Feedback consists of three important factors:

1. What you say
2. How you say it
3. When & Where you say it

1. What You Say – the Language of Feedback

There’s a difference between Descriptive and Inferential Language in providing feedback, so plan what you’re going to say.

Descriptive Language:  Noting or recording the facts or information you’ve gained through personal experience and other reliable sources of objective data. “Just the facts Ma’am.”

Inferential Language: Something implied, concluded, or assumed from information given; based primarily on your personal interpretation. “You’re attitude is terrible.”

Descriptive Language Examples

Reports what happened; sticks with observable facts

“You missed three deadlines…”

Uses action verbs; focuses on the behavior in question

“You shook your finger in his face and pounded your fist on the table…”

Is concrete, specific, qualified

“The report you submitted lacks a financial analysis and citations for research…”

Descriptive language allows for alternative explanations;

seeks to understand

Inferential Language Examples

Interprets what happened; assigns meaning and motives

 “You are so disorganized.”

Uses the linking verb “to be”; labels the person

“You become a tyrant…”
“You’re so stubborn.”

Is general, abstract, absolute

“Your work is (implies always) shoddy.”
“You don’t (implies never) follow up on details.”

Inferential language makes a judgment; relies on assumptions

2. How You Say It - delivering feedback is a skill set – a simple formula

Situation + Behavior + Impact

(+ Consequences) (+ Ask for the Team Member’s Recommendations)

Example:

(SITUATION) “Yesterday afternoon, Christine, in the team meeting when (BEHAVIOR), you pushed back your chair and whispered to Stan for several minutes while the rest of the group was discussing a sensitive issue, (IMPACT) I felt completely excluded and uncomfortable.”

(CONSEQUENCES) “It seemed that things which might have to do with the topic at hand were being shared privately.”

(ASK for the TEAM MEMBER’S RECOMMENDATION) “In future group discussions, what could be done differently to avoid the side conversations?”

How is that different from saying, “Christine, your attitude in meetings is so disrespectful and I don’t expect to see any more behavior like that.” ???

If you take a couple of moments to think out the specifics of the situation and describe the behavior exactly as it was observed, you’re in a position to also explain the impact of the behavior, its possible consequences and then involve the team member in figuring out how to better handle the situation.

Just what you wanted to do:

Set the stage for a behavior change

Set the stage for improving some aspect of performance

AND involve the team member in the resolution.

3. Where and When You Say It

Important considerations in delivering feedback to someone:

State of mind – if this was a hot issue, have you both had a chance to cool down?

 The giver and the receiver should be psychologically prepared

 Your motives – are you trying to help or castrate?

 Receiver’s tolerance level – is it all too much right now (maybe there’s  
 some huge personal issue influencing behavior here)

The team members ability to change – or are you discussing something that this person has NO ability to change?

Timing – did you save this for Friday afternoon when nothing can be done over the weekend? And are you dealing with the issue as soon as possible after the event?

Surroundings – are you being private with this discussion? NEVER let others overhear your remarks and the conversation; if you’re in a bad spot physically, arrange something private.

Giving Feedback Checklist:

Is this the right time to give feedback?

Is this the right place to give feedback?
Did you state the situation?
Did you state the observed behavior?
Did you state the impact?
Does the team member have a better understanding of what happened in this situation?
Did you avoid forming assumptions or drawing conclusions?

Solid Leadership + Strong Relationships = Success for Everyone

Tomorrow: Receiving Feedback