Are You Familiar with the Platinum Rule?

For the remainder of July’s Ultimate Blog Challenge, my posts are about our behavioral styles and how we can become more aware of own styles – as well as others’ - in order to strengthen business relationships.

Think about the people with whom you interact...
Have you ever wondered why...
You get the reaction or response from some of them that you do?

Do you find that….

• You have friction with someone at work though you're both working for the same goals?

• Some people get bogged down in detail and can't see the big picture?

• Some people can only see the big picture and have no patience for detail!? 

• Some people can't keep up with the pace of change – they move slowly and deliberately – why?

• Others seem to thrive on a fast pace and creating change?

• Some people just can’t get down to business right away – they have to take the time to chat about the  weekend?

• Others have no time to chit-chat – they just want to get on with business and in fact, seem cold?

I could go on with "wonder why's", but you know the point...people are different! We behave differently, we're driven by varied needs...and we aren't going to change others, are we?

But we can surely change how we interact with others to get the best connection – create a strong relationship whether it’s at work, at home, in community activities -anyplace you interact with others and want to accomplish something together.

For me it starts with our Natural Behavior vs our Adapted Behavior.

When I'm behaving naturally, I'm doing:

·        What is most comfortable for me

·        What I feel like doing at the time

·        What meets my needs

·        My-take-me-as-I-am-routine

If I'm adapting my behavior, I'm potentially strengthening relationships by doing:

·        What is most appropriate or effective with this business associate

·        What I think is the best thing to do to connect with this person

·        What meets the needs of the situation

·        What will build trust & improve our teamwork

Of course, it’s important to be authentic, to be ourselves, but by understanding more about someone’s else’s behavior style, we can develop a strong relationship faster if we take into account THEIR behavior preferences.

Let me explain:

Yesterday’s article - Are We Wired to Live the Golden Rule? - by Denny Coates concluded with: “Isn't it wonderful that being a good person is a survival mechanism, a part of our biology? And that being a grumpy, nasty, self-serving jerk will eventually lead to your downfall?”

He was referring to the brain science behind the Golden Rule , which most of us grew up learning, recognizing as important – and trying to practice.

This basic approach of ethically and morally interacting with other people gives us an important guide to living life and building relationships.

Basically, it says:
Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Certainly, a most excellent rule to live by, but what if we go beyond golden to platinum? If you want to maximize relationships, consider the Platinum Rule©.

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

or

Treat others as they would like to be treated.

There’s a subtle difference here, isn’t there?

Now we’re talking about understanding how to best approach others so that the growing relationship can sincerely develop.

This means recognizing how YOU come across to other people (sometimes we get surprised here), but ALSO recognizing how THEY could best be approached: the Platinum Rule in action.

It's important to me to emphasize that this isn’t manipulation – that’s a technique many use and few appreciate.

This is about honestly acknowledging that we’re all different, that to build stronger relationships it’s a successful practice to knowledgeably adapt our behavior to someone whose style is very different from ourselves. After all, this is a connection we want to be successful.

In a business relationship it may be:

√     working toward common goals in an organization

√     a customer/supplier connection

√     a team leader/team member working together

Simple changes in our approaches to an associate doesn’t change who we are, it doesn’t in-authenticate us, but can indicate how smart we are in our ability to develop strong business relationships – it’s just good business. This isn’t about changing personalities or being insincere, it’s just considering how to better connect with others. Much more detail to come!

Tomorrow: I promised we’d look at icebergs in connection with this topic – so we’ll look at the above-the-water-line-behaviors and those below-the-water-line (what really drives us).

Question for you: Does the Platinum Rule© make sense as you try to strengthen relationships?

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