Are You Familiar with the Platinum Rule?

For the remainder of July’s Ultimate Blog Challenge, my posts are about our behavioral styles and how we can become more aware of own styles – as well as others’ - in order to strengthen business relationships.

Think about the people with whom you interact...
Have you ever wondered why...
You get the reaction or response from some of them that you do?

Do you find that….

• You have friction with someone at work though you're both working for the same goals?

• Some people get bogged down in detail and can't see the big picture?

• Some people can only see the big picture and have no patience for detail!? 

• Some people can't keep up with the pace of change – they move slowly and deliberately – why?

• Others seem to thrive on a fast pace and creating change?

• Some people just can’t get down to business right away – they have to take the time to chat about the  weekend?

• Others have no time to chit-chat – they just want to get on with business and in fact, seem cold?

I could go on with "wonder why's", but you know the point...people are different! We behave differently, we're driven by varied needs...and we aren't going to change others, are we?

But we can surely change how we interact with others to get the best connection – create a strong relationship whether it’s at work, at home, in community activities -anyplace you interact with others and want to accomplish something together.

For me it starts with our Natural Behavior vs our Adapted Behavior.

When I'm behaving naturally, I'm doing:

·        What is most comfortable for me

·        What I feel like doing at the time

·        What meets my needs

·        My-take-me-as-I-am-routine

If I'm adapting my behavior, I'm potentially strengthening relationships by doing:

·        What is most appropriate or effective with this business associate

·        What I think is the best thing to do to connect with this person

·        What meets the needs of the situation

·        What will build trust & improve our teamwork

Of course, it’s important to be authentic, to be ourselves, but by understanding more about someone’s else’s behavior style, we can develop a strong relationship faster if we take into account THEIR behavior preferences.

Let me explain:

Yesterday’s article - Are We Wired to Live the Golden Rule? - by Denny Coates concluded with: “Isn't it wonderful that being a good person is a survival mechanism, a part of our biology? And that being a grumpy, nasty, self-serving jerk will eventually lead to your downfall?”

He was referring to the brain science behind the Golden Rule , which most of us grew up learning, recognizing as important – and trying to practice.

This basic approach of ethically and morally interacting with other people gives us an important guide to living life and building relationships.

Basically, it says:
Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Certainly, a most excellent rule to live by, but what if we go beyond golden to platinum? If you want to maximize relationships, consider the Platinum Rule©.

Do unto others as they want done unto them.

or

Treat others as they would like to be treated.

There’s a subtle difference here, isn’t there?

Now we’re talking about understanding how to best approach others so that the growing relationship can sincerely develop.

This means recognizing how YOU come across to other people (sometimes we get surprised here), but ALSO recognizing how THEY could best be approached: the Platinum Rule in action.

It's important to me to emphasize that this isn’t manipulation – that’s a technique many use and few appreciate.

This is about honestly acknowledging that we’re all different, that to build stronger relationships it’s a successful practice to knowledgeably adapt our behavior to someone whose style is very different from ourselves. After all, this is a connection we want to be successful.

In a business relationship it may be:

√     working toward common goals in an organization

√     a customer/supplier connection

√     a team leader/team member working together

Simple changes in our approaches to an associate doesn’t change who we are, it doesn’t in-authenticate us, but can indicate how smart we are in our ability to develop strong business relationships – it’s just good business. This isn’t about changing personalities or being insincere, it’s just considering how to better connect with others. Much more detail to come!

Tomorrow: I promised we’d look at icebergs in connection with this topic – so we’ll look at the above-the-water-line-behaviors and those below-the-water-line (what really drives us).

Question for you: Does the Platinum Rule© make sense as you try to strengthen relationships?

Images:

http://www.youngink.biz

crossstitch.about.com

Are We Wired to Live the Golden Rule? Let's ask Dr. Denny Coates - it's his title and article

The Ultimate Blog Challenge for July is underway and with the holidays almost over, I'm finally ready to get down to business.

My focus this month will be on human behavior styles; I'll be extracting information from my program:

Getting to KnowYourself…and Others™ - A Self-Study Program in Building Stronger Relationships.

Early in the program I reference the Golden Rule - something many of us grew up with - and we'll see how we can even go beyond it to build stronger relationships in our professional lives.

To get our minds working in this direction, enjoy this fascinating article by Dr. Dennis Coates about science and "feeling or doing good" and the Golden Rule.

Don't be put off by the "neurons" in the title - it's good reading and Denny knows his stuff.

MirrorNeurons - Wired for the Golden Rule

 

Tomorrow we'll look at the Platinum Rule®, our natural behavioral tendencies and what effects they produce (perhaps as apposed to the effects we want to create).

Golden rule image:

callprobest.com

Our Uniqueness

A beautiful thought for the end of the holiday week...and to begin our look at behavior styles beginning tomorrow.




We are not powerless specks of dust drifting around in the wind, blown by random destiny.

We are, each of us, like beautiful snowflakes- unique, and born for a specific
reason and purpose.

by Elizabeth Kubler-Ross

Not only is this beautiful and commonly understood, it ties into the series beginning tomorrow on human behavior styles; so this is good time to remind each of us of our amazing uniqueness and the snowflake analogy is apt.

Whatever we can learn about why we behave the way we do, it's vital to remember that we are each our own person; that we have a core that’s developed in early life and been influenced as we grow by environment, adults, other kids, values that were instilled and so much more.  We’ll take a look this month….
image:

its.caltech.edu

Amazing Striped Icebergs

July heat can make you want to cool down - how about this for cool? Icebergs in Antarctica.

This amazing set of photos comes from...I don't know where, but they are priceless. I loaded them to Pinterest right here - have a look and cool off.

When I begin my human behavior styles discussion next week, I'll be referring to icebergs again as they relate to human behavior, but for now it's just a pleasure to look at these and imagine what it must be to actually SEE them.
The notes from the photos say that icebergs in the Antarctic area sometimes have stripes, formed by layers of snow that react to different conditions. 
 
Blue stripes are often created when a crevice in the ice sheet 
fills up with meltwater and freezes so quickly that no bubbles form. 
 
When an iceberg falls into the sea, a layer of salty seawater can 
freeze to the underside. If this is rich in algae, it can form a 
green stripe. 
 
Brown, black and yellow lines are caused by sediment, picked up 
when the ice sheet grinds downhill towards the sea.

Truly amazing and something so few of us will see for real.

Happy 4th of July!!!!

What a great day to celebrate - Happy 4th!

We think of so many American symbols and traditions on this date and one of them is the Statue of Liberty.

But how many of us have ever seen her represented this way?

Just imagine what it took to create the
HUMAN Statue of Liberty

This took place at Camp Dodge, Iowa

You're looking at a vintage 1918 photograph by Mole and Thomas that captures an aerial view of 18,000 enlisted men and officers forming a
'Human Statue of Liberty'

18,000 men!!!!

Eighteen thousand soldiers of the Camp Dodge, 163rd Depot Brigade formed the silhouette of the Statue of Liberty for the renowned photograph shot by Chicago, Illinois, photographers Mole and Thomas on August 22, 1918 at 2:30 p.m.

“COL. William Newman, commander of the 163rd Depot Brigade selected the statue of liberty as the formation for the brigade picture.” “COL. Rush S. Wells, Regimental Commander, had charge of the formation.” COL Newman was an 1892 graduate of the U.S. Military Academy.

“Beginning at 1:00 p.m. companies were assembled and by 2:30 the proper formation was completed and the photograph taken. The ground was marked out by blocks, in the shape of the statue, which facilitated getting the soldiers into correct formation. From the goddess’ feet to the tip of the torch the symbolical statue measured 499 yards. The picture was taken from a tower forty feet high, constructed for the occasion. On account of the mass formation and the heat twelve men fainted and were carried from the field.” The high temperature reported for the day was 94 degrees.

The photograph was taken with an 11" x 14" view camera following several day’s worth of work by the photographers to set up the image on the ground using thousands of yards of white tape. In addition, substantial coordination was required between the photographers and COL. Newman’s staff to ensure the various folds of the gown, the bible, the left hand, and the crown was properly
outlined by soldiers wearing white shirts. The design for the living picture was laid out on the drill ground at Camp Dodge, west of current building S 34 and Maintenance Road. “The large photographs were on sale for $1 at all the exchanges in the camp. Many soldiers sent the photo home to their families.

The layout at the reported 499 yards was nearly 5 times the length of the actual Statue of Liberty and the viewer will note that the correct perspective is maintained. The number of men in the various parts include: Flame of Torch – 12,000 men, Torch – 2,800, Right Arm – 1,200 men, Body, Head and balance of figure – 2,000 men.

Some have speculated that the soldiers in the photograph were members of the 88th Division who had been in training at Camp Dodge. This is erroneous as on August 16, 1918 all organizations of the Division were reported to have left Camp Dodge. The soldiers in the picture were members of the 163rd Depot Brigade under the command of COL Newman.

FACTS
Base to Shoulder: 150 feet
Right Arm: 340 feet
Widest part of arm holding torch: 12 1/2 feet
Right thumb: 35 feet
Thickest part of body: 29 feet
Left hand length: 30 feet
Face: 60 feet
Nose: 21 feet
Longest spike of head piece: 70 feet
Torch and flame combined: 980 feet
Number of men in flame of torch: 12,000
Number of men in torch: 2,800
Number of men in right arm: 1,200 Number of men in body, head and balance of figure only: 2,000


Total men: 18,000

See more amazing human-formations-becoming-famous-photos at:

http://americafyeah.com/2012/03/02/living-photos-formed-by-thousands-of-us-soldiers/

How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns?

Did you ever wonder how many steps the guard takes during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns?

This is probably better posted on Memorial Day or Veteran's Day, but this is a very patriotic week in the US, and at Arlington, you are in the throes of patriotism.

I hope you’ve had the chance to walk through Arlington National Cemetery –
 the entire site is overwhelming.

I was so fortunate to work with a man in my corporate life who was a retired master sergeant from the army – one of his postings included overseeing the guards at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier (as it was known then) and I learned a lot from Pete. He helped me understand some of these impressive stats.

1. How many steps does the guard take during his walk across the Tomb of the Unknowns and why?

He takes 21 steps. It alludes to the twenty-one gun salute, which is the highest honor given any military or foreign dignitary.

2. How long does he hesitate after his about face to begin his return walk and why?

21 seconds for the same reason


3. Why are his gloves wet?

His gloves are moistened to prevent his losing his grip on the rifle.

4. Does he carry his rifle on the same shoulder all the time and if not, why not?
He carries the rifle on the shoulder away from the tomb. After his march across the path, he executes an about face and moves the rifle to the outside shoulder.

5. How often are the guards changed?

Guards are changed every thirty minutes, twenty-four hours a day, 365 days a year.

6. What are the physical traits of the guard limited to?

For a person to apply for guard duty at the tomb, he must be between 5' 10" and 6' 2" tall and his waist size cannot exceed 30." Other requirements of the Guard: They must commit 2 years of life to guard the tomb, live in a barracks under the tomb, and cannot drink any alcohol on or off duty for the rest of their lives. They cannot swear in public for the rest of their lives and cannot disgrace the uniform {fighting} or the tomb in any way. After two years, the guard is given a wreath pin that is worn on their lapel signifying they served as guard of the tomb. There are only 400 presently worn. The guard must obey these rules for the rest of their lives or give up the wreath pin.

The shoes are specially made with very thick soles to keep the heat
and cold from their feet. There are metal heel plates that extend to the
top of the shoe in order to make the loud click as they come to a halt.

There are no wrinkles, folds or lint on the uniform. Guards dress for duty in front of a full-length mirror.

The first six months of duty a guard cannot talk to anyone, nor watch TV. All off duty time is spent studying the 175 notable people laid to rest in Arlington National Cemetery. A guard must memorize who they are and where they are interred.

Among the notables buried at Arlington:

• U.S. President John F. Kennedy and his wife Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis
• U.S. President William Howard Taft
• Audie Murphy: The most decorated and honored American combat soldier from WW II.
• U.S. Supreme Court justices Harry Blackmun, Thurgood Marshall, William O. Douglas and Potter Stewart
• Robert F. Kennedy: Former U.S. Attorney General and United States Senator from New York
• Ruth G. Bradley: A U.S. Army colonel and one of the most distinguished military women in history, with 34 medals.
• Abner Doubleday: A Civil War general who is considered the man behind the game of baseball .
• Glenn Miller: A U.S. Army major and the famous band leader.

Every guard spends five hours a day getting his uniforms ready for guard duty.

Engraved on the monument:

ETERNAL REST GRANT THEM O LORD,
AND LET PERPETUAL LIGHT SHINE UPON THEM.

Interesting Note:

In 2003 as Hurricane Isabelle was approaching Washington, DC, our US Senate/House took 2 days off with anticipation of the storm. On the ABC
evening news, it was reported that because of the dangers from the hurricane, the military members assigned the duty of guarding the Tomb of the Unknowns were given permission to suspend the assignment. They respectfully declined the offer, "No way, Sir!" Soaked to the skin, marching in the pelting rain of a tropical storm, they said that guarding  the Tomb was not just an assignment, it was the highest honor that can be afforded to a serviceperson. The tomb has been patrolled continuously, 24/7, since 1930.

More info about Arlington National Cemetery:

http://www.washingtondc-go.com/attractions/arlington-national-cemetery-facts.html

http://www.smithsonianmag.com/history-archaeology/The-Battle-of-Arlington.html

Question for you: Have you been there and what was your reaction?

Do you have any idea where these old phrases came from?

Everyday we hear or use - or try NOT to use - phrases that have become automatic in our language. But interestingly, they've been around a long time and they come from somewhere don’t they? And many of us couldn’t say how they originated. So here are illuminating history lessons about a few of those trite phrases.

√  They used to use urine to tan animal skins, so families used to all pee in a pot & then once a day it was taken & sold to the tannery.......if you had to do this to survive you were "Piss Poor".

√  But worse than that were the really poor folk who couldn't even afford to buy a pot...they "didn’t have a pot to piss in" and were the lowest of the low.

√  Most people got married in June because they took their yearly bath in May and they still smelled pretty good by June. However, since they were starting to smell . .. . brides carried a bouquet of flowers to hide the body odor. Hence the custom today of carrying a bouquet when getting married.

√  Baths consisted of a big tub filled with hot water. The man of the house had the privilege of the nice clean water, then all the other sons and men, then the women and finally the children. (Did you SEE the Hatfields and the McCoys on History Channel??!!) Last of all the babies. By then the water was so dirty you could actually lose someone in it. Hence the saying, "Don't throw the baby out with the Bath water!"

√   Houses had thatched roofs-thick straw-piled high, with no wood underneath.

√   It was the only place for animals to get warm, so all the cats and other small animals (mice, bugs) lived in the roof. When it rained it became slippery and sometimes the animals would slip and fall off the roof. Hence the saying "It's raining cats and dogs."

√  There was nothing to stop things from falling into the house. This posed a real problem in the bedroom where bugs and other droppings could mess up your nice clean bed. Hence, a bed with big posts and a sheet hung over the top afforded some protection. That's how canopy beds came into existence.

√  The floor was dirt. Only the wealthy had something other than dirt.
Hence the saying, "Dirt poor."

√  The wealthy had slate floors that would get slippery in the winter when wet, so they spread thresh (straw) on floor to help keep their footing. As the winter wore on, they added more thresh until, when you opened the door, it would all start slipping outside. A piece of wood was placed in the entrance-way. Therefore: a thresh hold.

(Getting quite an education, aren't you?)

√  In those old days, they cooked in the kitchen with a big kettle that
always hung over the fire. Every day they lit the fire and added
things to the pot. They ate mostly vegetables and did not get much
meat. They would eat the stew for dinner, leaving leftovers in the
pot to get cold overnight and then start over the next day.
Sometimes stew had food in it that had been there for quite a while. Hence the rhyme: Peas porridge hot, peas porridge cold, peas porridge in the pot nine days old.

√  Sometimes they could obtain pork, which made them feel quite special. When visitors came over, they would hang up their bacon to show off. It was a sign of wealth that a man could, "bring home the bacon." They would cut off a little to share with guests and would all sit around and chew the fat.

√  Those with money had plates made of pewter. Food with high acid content caused some of the lead to leach onto the food, causing lead poisoning death. This happened most often with tomatoes, so
for the next 400 years or so, tomatoes were considered poisonous.

√  Bread was divided according to status. Workers got the burnt bottom of the loaf, the family got the middle, and guests got the top, or the upper crust.

√  Lead cups were used to drink ale or whisky. The combination would
sometimes knock the imbibers out for a couple of days. Someone
walking along the road would take them for dead and prepare them for burial. They were laid out on the kitchen table for a couple of days and the family would gather around and eat and drink and wait and see if they would wake up. Hence the custom of holding a wake.

√  England is old and small and the local folks started running out of places to bury people. So they would dig up coffins and would take the bones to a bone-house, and reuse the grave. When reopening these coffins, 1 out of 25 coffins were found to have scratch marks on the inside and they realized they had been burying people alive. So they would tie a string on the wrist of the corpse, lead it through the coffin and up through the ground and tie it to a bell. Someone would have to sit out in the graveyard all night - the graveyard shift - to listen for the bell; thus, someone could be, saved by the bell or was considered a dead ringer.

And that's the truth...I suppose!

It all makes good sense when you put it in context.

Whoever said history was boring ! ! ! 

 

Question for you: Got any bits of history to share that tells us where a phrase we use all the time came from?

Images:
history1
youmustdosomethingnow.wordpress.com
history2
specsprice.blogspot.com

 

11 Life Lessons from Maya Angelou

Happy Day #1 of the Ultimate Blog Challenge.

That’s big, but ALSO… here in north Idaho it's finally summer! Right now we're totally wrapped up in summertime play, the July 4th holiday and just being outside in the sunshine. I'm lucky to live in such beautiful country and we try to take advantage of the outdoors as much as possible.

In the UBC, I'm entered in the personal development category and our business does focus on building relationships for success in business. But with the advent of summer and the mid-week holiday, it's tough to start discussions about our relationships this week - would anyone be paying any attention?!?!?

That brings me to my point: I'm going to save my human behavior styles discussion to begin on July 9 and throughout this week I'll share some things that I’ve found particularly captivating. They can certainly qualify as personal development and they range from the fun to serious and things in between.

I'll start with the amazing May Angelou. I did see her once on Oprah and she told the most entertaining stories about a couple of her personal relationships with men – she’d compiled a recipe book and these were stories behind each dish – a completely captivating performance!

The following is from a broadcast I didn't see, but she catalogues lessons learned and they're worth paying attention to. See if you agree...

Maya Angelou, always an entertaining speaker, was interviewed by Oprah on her 70+ birthday and Oprah asked her what she thought of growing older.

And, there on television, she said it was 'exciting...'

Regarding body changes, she said there were many, occurring every day.....like her breasts. They seem to be in a race to see which will reach her waist, first.
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The audience laughed so hard they cried. She is apparently such a simple (???) and honest woman, with so much wisdom in her words!
Here's what I've read Maya Angelou said:

'I've learned that no matter what happens, or how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.'

'I've learned that you can tell a lot about a person by the way he/she handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.'

'I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.'

'I've learned that making a 'living' is not the same thing as 'making a life.'

'I've learned that life sometimes gives you a second chance.'

'I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands; you need to be able to throw some things back....'

'I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.'

'I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.'

'I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug, or just a friendly pat on the back.'

'I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.'

'I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.'

 

She also shared this poem, that’s become a classic.

Don't Break the Elastic

When I was in my younger days,
I weighed a few pounds less,
I needn't hold my tummy in
to wear a belted dress.
But now that I am older,
I've set my body free;
There's the comfort of elastic
Where once my waist would be.
Inventor of those high-heeled shoes
My feet have not forgiven;
I have to wear a nine now,
But used to wear a seven.
And how about those pantyhose-
They're sized by weight, you see,
So how come when I put them on

The crotch is at my knee?
I need to wear these glasses
As the print's been getting smaller;
And it wasn't very long ago I know that I was taller.
Though my hair has turned to grey and my skin no longer fits,
On the inside, I'm the same old me,
It's the outside's changed a bit.

Question for you: I know you've got some life lessons learned and wonderful wisdom - any you care to pass along? Thanks!